The 7Ps – Party #2 – Mitchell News

Glenda @ Mitchell News

Be intentional about what you choose to do. Be intentional about actually doing it.

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The 7Ps – Party #2

Relish in the success of others

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*Hot Off The Press*

A few new coaching and speaking engagements have been keeping me occupied. A reminder of how much I love working with people navigating a transition in their lives and helping them make intentional choices about how they maximise the investment of their time, money and energy.

When Covid hit, Walter & I were left with nowhere to live as we were about to step on a plane for South Africa. We were blessed to be provided with an apartment overlooking the Story Bridge in Brisbane whilst the owners were stuck in Italy. After a few failed attempts to meet them in person since then, we were very excited to eventually see them in the flesh as they made a trip back to Australia for a few months.

Another trip to Port Macquarie still did not result in the purchase of a new home. But we enjoyed meeting several people that we can now call friends.

A friend in Sydney lost his 92-year-old mum and we had the privilege of attending her funeral. An unassuming but inspirational woman who is now free from pain.

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*Party – Relish in the Success of Others*

Last month I wrote about “Party – Celebrate Success at Every Step” as a way of keeping motivated. I’m going to stay with the “Party” theme this month – still as a way to stay driven but from a very different angle.

Parkrun is a free, weekly, community event held in open spaces in many countries. It welcomes runners, walkers and even dogs. Whilst I didn’t start running through Parkrun, it would have been the perfect way to get me started had it existed 25 years ago. I was not a natural runner, so the inclusive nature of the events would have been encouraging. The regular Saturday events did help me get back to it following a significant health scare in 2016. They also keep me motivated as I get older – as I attempt to maintain my record of being first in my age category frequently.

Earlier this year, Parkrun Global made the call to remove data such as most first finishes, sub-17 minute men and sub-20 minute women, and age-grade or category speed records. To put it in layman’s terms, to get rid of the summary information about the really, really fast people.

I need to make it clear – I am by no means intending to criticise Parkrun for their decision. With a mandate to be inclusive, they feared that this data was promoting the wrong behaviour and that those they wanted to include would be put off. They made the decision that they believed was best for what they intended to achieve.

As with many decisions, there are losers. Those runners who were motivated by trying to get under the elite times so they could appear on the record boards no longer had this goal. Those who were able to compete at the category level were no longer given the featured credit that they may have deserved. Unfortunately in an attempt to be inclusive, the gifted runners were the victims. Is there something that Parkun could have done to encourage people to be amazed at what others were able to do? To even be motivated by the success of others without having to beat them?

In reality, we cannot win at everything. We each have our own strengths and gifts. How can we gain satisfaction by relishing the success of others rather than begrudging it or even wanting it ourselves? It is believed that helping others increases levels of an endorphin-like chemical in the body called substance P, which can relieve pain, depression and anxiety. I wonder whether the satisfaction we can gain from the success of others can do the same thing. Can we even be spurred on by what they have achieved?

There’s actually a word for it in Sanskrit—”mudita“—which simply translates into the word “joy.” However, its meaning is more about the joy a person experiences by witnessing the success of others.

When I think about the truly great people I’ve met—the ones who I admired and who had a big impact on me – they demonstrated abundant mudita. They always valued me, and my contributions and were thrilled when I succeeded.

However, I’ve also encountered many others who just don’t share this approach. They share a different characteristic described by the German word “schadenfreude.” This word means someone experiences joy or pleasure when another person experiences pain, troubles, failures or humiliation.

These individuals will never give you the benefit of the doubt. So, even if you succeed, they’ll find a way to point out a fault and suck the air out of your sails. I suspect many of them do this because they feel threatened or even jealous. Even in the face of success, they’ll find a way to discredit you. I suspect they operate from a scarcity mentality. The world is simply divided into winners and losers. If you win, this means I lose or can’t win.

It’s sad really.

Imagine if we were all able to develop a genuine sense of mudita, how it could change us and those around us in dramatic ways. We would always be creating opportunities for others to test their skills and capabilities. We would be continually on the lookout for the next big challenge to help them succeed. We would be their biggest cheerleader.

I find those who are generous in this way are also the ones who shamelessly promote the accomplishments of others. They never take any of the credit, even if they helped someone achieve success. They support any opportunity for others to continue to grow and develop, even where detrimental to themselves.

A bonus of relishing in the achievements of others is that we get to Party way more often as we celebrate the successes of everyone around us.

I’d love to hear your story of how you were able to increase your own satisfaction through relishing the success of others. Or where you have someone that is always in your corner.

Next month I promise to reveal a new “P”, so look out for it in your inbox.

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*Quote of the Month*

“When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, the pie gets larger.”

Stephen Covey

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*Kicking Out The Bucket List*

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